Do you ever get really excited about a project, get the detailed plans lined out, find the people you want to help you? You’re all jazzed about it and really on a roll… And suddenly you’re dragging your feet. All kinds of reasons are showing up to do it later, slow your timeline, change your plan. I see it a lot with people who are feeling stuck – off to a good start, and then they lose momentum.
Here’s The Deal
When you set your goal and do specific planning, you’re making it all much more real. Getting clear about it stirs up all your fears and limiting beliefs. It’s the most natural response there is, and not something to avoid.
We’re hardwired to watch for possible dangers any time we head in a new direction. That reaction is our old reptile brain at work keeping us safe. So of course your system will fire off all possible reasons why you shouldn’t move ahead.
Ignoring those doubts and fears may seem like the best plan of action, but it’s not. In fact, ignoring them can give them strength. If you pretend they’re not there, push them down, or yell over the top of them with affirmations, they don’t go away. They fester and grow in the background, and can really slow you down – even bring you to a screeching halt.
You can pay attention to the fears and beliefs that show up. Be curious about them. This is simply information that’s coming up, and you always have the choice about how to respond to it.
There can be valuable messages in those doubts and fears. So don’t smash them down. Don’t push them away. Often your solutions and next steps can be wrapped up right there inside that fear or belief.
Here’s An Example
Linda created a product. The closer she got to bringing it to market, the slower her progress. The fear whispering in the background was, “What if this goes the way it did last time and nobody buys it?”
When she looked closely at that doubt, she could see that;
- She was a different person from who she was 3 years ago when she last tried it.
- Since the last time she had 3 years’ worth of education she was applying to her project.
- She had outside help to ensure success.
- She could make some changes if sales didn’t go as planned.
Shedding the light on that fear helped her recognize that she stood a much better chance of success this time. And it allowed her to create some alternatives to use if she needed course corrections along the way.
You’re Not Weird
So if you think you’re weird because you’re feeling more negativity show up as you get closer to your goal, think again. These fears that show up mean you’re doing a darned good job of seeing where you want to go. The clearer your vision, the more you stir up mechanisms that say, “No! Don’t rock the boat.” It’s so natural and it’s really a good thing. And you can use it to your advantage.
Once you see the negatives, you’re at a point of choice when you’re looking clearly and squarely at what your options are. You DO have a choice to quit pursuing that goal. You DO have a choice to acknowledge doubts and fears and decide to move ahead anyway.
When you see the negatives, you can make a deliberate choice from a place of real power. Because you no longer have hidden emotions driving your behavior and causing a distracting inner tug-of-war.
Once you’ve examined the limiting beliefs or feelings, EFT is the best way I know to eliminate them. And if you need some help with that, just let me know.