Yes, here we are talking about self-blame again. That’s because it traps so many people, and because getting rid of it creates such freedom, that I’m covering another aspect of it here.
In the last post, Self-Blame Or Personal Responsibility?, the emphasis was on how blaming yourself can creep in on you and keep you stuck.
OK. But sometimes self-blame actually seems useful. Why would you let go of something useful? Doesn’t make sense.
Self-Blame As Motivation
Maybe it feels motivating to scold yourself for what you coulda-shoulda done. Maybe that’s what gets you into action. Your Inner Drill Sergeant makes it perfectly clear how it’s your own darn fault that you’re in the position you’re in. So it’s up to you to get out of it. And that’s how you get yourself moving on your projects or personal changes. So self-blame really IS useful. Or so it seems…
While it’s powerful to realize you’re in charge of your own life, using blame to get there is a poor choice. Here’s the truth: Scolding yourself into action may work in the short term, but it won’t hold up over the long haul. Self-blame as a motivator is not sustainable.
Sooner or later, you’ll tell that part of you to buzz off because you’re sick of being yelled at. So now you have an inner stand-off going on. And that keeps you stuck.
It just doesn’t feel good to be dreading the next scolding. And it’s hard to feel positive while you’re feeling ashamed about what you did or didn’t do.
Letting It Go
If riding yourself is a familiar motivator, it may be a challenge to give it up. But it will be SO worth it! Self-blame is a destructive practice that can really keep you from moving forward.
Being willing to release it comes from trusting yourself to come up with positive alternatives (and your resources and community). From there, it just takes practice:
- Practice noticing when you blame yourself.
- Practice letting go of it.
- Practice motivating yourself in other ways.
And of course, EFT is a great way to help release those old self-blame patterns and the teachings behind them.
How does this work for you? What are some alternative ways you motivate yourself? Share your experience with the rest of us by leaving a comment.