Sometimes clients say, “I just know something happened that’s connected to this current issue, but I can’t remember what it was.” Has that ever happened to you? I know it can be frustrating. But you can still use EFT to help yourself — whether you remember or not.
Why Don’t You Remember?
You can really drive yourself nuts with this question. The best answer is, “For some very good reason.” Just let go of scolding yourself or hammering at yourself to remember. That doesn’t help. Apparently, some part of you thinks it’s best to keep the “something” a mystery for now. So honor that part of yourself and move on.
Some possibilities for the reason you don’t remember are:
- It was so painful when it happened that you suppressed it right away, and still can’t access the memory now. That’s OK – you don’t have to!
- It was not a single incident, so no wonder you can’t remember it. It may have been a series of small events that added up to a big impact. Good thing you decided to stop looking for it…could have been a long wait.
- Some part of you knows it would overwhelm you to bring the event to the forefront of your mind right now. So it is protecting you and keeping that connection out of your consciousness.
The First Step
Trust your intuition. Ask yourself if not remembering is a red flag for you. Just get quiet, go inside and check to see if proceeding with EFT on your own is the best thing to do for yourself. You can meditate on it, pray about it or do some journaling. Then trust your answer. If working with a practitioner feels like the better choice, do that for yourself. Sometimes working alone on an issue is not the wisest choice.
If you DO decide to tap on your own, you need to let go of frustration, self-blame or impatience about not remembering. Those forms of anger can really slow down your tapping efforts. It’s as if that anger acts as an anchor to hold the issue right where it’s been all these years. EFT will be slow going.
So just let it go if you can. Or if you need to tap away that aggravation, take the time to do that now.
Moving Ahead With EFT
First, assess your emotional intensity on a scale of 1 to 10. Write that number down.
To clear the un-remembered issue, start with a setup that goes something like this:
- Even though something bad happened when I was six — I can just feel it — I love and accept myself anyway.
- Even though I don’t know what happened but it takes my breath away to remember that time, I deeply love myself and I respect my feelings.
- Even though I can’t remember anything specific but life was different after that summer, I still appreciate and accept myself.
- Even though this mystery incident has my stomach in knots, and I feel crazy because I can’t remember it, I love and accept myself anyway.
Move On To Tapping
Tap a few rounds on the “mystery event” or the “unknown cause,” or even “whatever happened in 1982.” Then tap a few rounds on how it makes you feel — emotionally or physically or both.
Stop every few rounds to reassess your intensity. Then stay with it, and tap the issue down to zero.
You May Be Surprised
At some point during your tapping, you may suddenly remember the incident. This can happen after the emotional intensity has decreased. It’s as if your subconscious says, “It’s not so ugly now, so I’ll show you what’s up.” Then you’ll have more specifics that you can use EFT on.
Or you may never remember, but get massive relief anyway. For one client, the troubling incident never revealed itself. But she could suddenly remember all the GOOD things that happened during that school year. Before we tapped, she couldn’t remember fifth grade at all.
Here’s wishing you the best on clearing out those foggy incidents. Let us know how this technique works for you by posting a comment below.
If you get in over your head, or just want an outside experienced perspective, I’d love to work with you on your challenge. contact me for a free consult to discuss possibilities for going deeper with EFT.