You should be done with that by now! Ever tell yourself that? Most of us do at one time or another. Sometimes because we’ve been procrastinating. Or maybe we started something without the skills or information we really need to get it done.
How It Shows Up
See if you recognize any of these real life scenarios:
- a coach was mad at herself for missing a networking event for the third month in a row
- a consultant was annoyed because she hadn’t resolved details of her mother’s estate
- a healing practitioner scolded herself for stalling on creating a business phone line
- a teacher ridiculed herself for still being interested in her ex-husband’s dating activities
So here’s what happens when you have something like this going on. You can see a logical solution to the problem. Right? Something you can DO. And you keep trying to get yourself to do that thing. That’s what logic tells you is the answer.
Wrong! The root of the problem is an emotional one – not a logical one. So it needs to be addressed with an emotional tool. And EFT is perfect for that. Great! There’s hope for a solution.
Once you’re tapping, this self-blame can slow you down. I know I’ve written about this anger at yourself before. But this “shouldn’t I be done” anger is in a special zone all its own. It can create big resistance to releasing your core issue.
Sometimes the release is slow right from the beginning. But often, clients get off to a good start — their emotional intensity is dropping at a good rate. Then they stall out about halfway through the session. The culprit? This special flavor of self-blame.
Here are some subconscious forms it can take:
- If I could get over this, I would have by now. I obviously can’t get over it, so I’m not going to release it.
- I should be punished because this has gone on for so long, so hanging onto this issue is my punishment.
- I put off getting help for this when I knew I needed it, so this is the price I have to pay – holding onto my problem.
- I know logically what I should have done a long time ago. I didn’t do it, so I need to suffer.
What To Do
You can tap directly on the issue of blaming yourself for not being done yet. Or just work the phrasing into your setup statements. For example:
- Even though I’m reluctant to let go of this divorce grief because I should be over it by now, I want to love myself anyway.
- Even though I’m resistant to clearing any more of this networking fear because I should have taken care of it 3 months ago, I want to respect myself and accept my feelings.
- Even though it feels impossible to clear this issue, and maybe I’ve gone as far as I deserve to because I’m a procrastinator, I want to love all parts of me anyway.
If this is a longstanding deep pattern for you, let’s flip that pattern together. CONTACT ME to schedule a time to talk about how we can go deeper with EFT to move you out of the Should Zone.