Blaming yourself is a crippler and a complete action-stopper — which is why letting it go creates astonishing freedom to move forward.
But There’s Nobody Else To Blame
So why do you punish yourself in the first place? Well, it can seem like a good thing — like if you pay the price you owe for The Thing you did wrong, then you’ll be free. If you can pay the debt for your mistake then life will be good again.
But when is enough enough? How do you know when you’ve completed your punishment?
Holding onto self-blame can seem constructive in another way: It could make you careful and prevent you from making a mistake. That could seem very valuable – so you won’t do The Thing again. But the truth is that you can keep the wisdom from lessons learned WITHOUT punishment.
The truth is that self-blame never helps. Never! It totally weighs down your heart and your spirit. It dampens creativity, blocks intuition and is a ball-and-chain that slows you down, sometimes to a complete standstill.
Two big ingredients here are shame and anger. Those two tie up together in self-blame – the heaviest, strongest anchors that can drag you down, prevent action and stifle movement.
People are really reluctant to give it up. They’ll feel guilty if they don’t blame themselves. They did something wrong and they need to pay. It just wouldn’t be right to let it go.
Hey – I’m not saying it’s logical. The biggest things keeping you stuck are never logical. They’re challenges based in emotions and beliefs, which is precisely why solutions based in logic don’t fix them.
Astonish Yourself Instead
It’s just astounding to see what can happen when you release self-blame. Along with it evaporates any related regret and guilt – two more action-killers.
Freedom is created by first taking a look at The Thing you did. Go ahead and judge whatever you did (or said or thought…). That’s right — BE judgmental. Your judgment is important, helping you clearly look at something and say I don’t want to repeat that. Your discernment about what works and what doesn’t – that’s what allows you to learn from past mistakes.
Next, you need to release the blame. This is the real magic that allows you to move forward. I have seen this one step create absolute miracles, really. A doctoral candidate finished her dissertation. A bodyworker finally started charging what’s she’s worth. A salesman began successfully selling again. A writer moved through year-long writer’s block. And the list goes on….
What amazing things will you accomplish when you release your self-blame? If you know how to do this effectively on your own, go for it. EFT would be the perfect tool to help with this. The payoffs will blow you away!
And if I can help you, I’d be delighted! Email me at janet [at] clearing-pathways [dot] com or call 805-835-5566.