Does one of these words fit better for you? frustrated, annoyed, irritated, bugged, impatient, aggravated, upset, resentful, mad, outraged, pissed off, blaming somebody else or yourself, (your favorite term here). Choose your word and apply it wherever you read the word “anger” here.
To shift that feeling, you can try the basic recipe of tapping. If it works, good! Straight-ahead EFT is always good for changing present feelings of anger. But what about those feelings that hang on? The ones that don’t just tap easily away?
Those Hard-To-Release Feelings
What’s behind the struggle to let go of anger is this: there’s a part of you thinking it’s not a good idea because there’s something at risk — safety, comfort, your values, a future problem — whatever.
That’s why doing basic EFT for anger doesn’t always get the results you want. There’s another level underneath. A big reason it doesn’t feel safe to let go of anger is that anger can protect you from experiencing other feelings about the issue you’re mad about. For instance, it can keep you from feeling sad. Anger can help to keep you from feeling fear. It can prevent you from feeling hurt. It can help you to not feel helpless – like there’s nothing you can do about a situation.
Especially with feelings of sadness and hurt – those real heart-centered feelings – it feels a lot better to stay mad because then you don’t have to feel that heartache. Those are big reasons why it can be hard to let go of anger.
Illusions of Power
Because let’s face it. If you’re feeling sad, you don’t feel powerful. Feeling worried or scared about something doesn’t feel powerful at all. Nobody likes feeling powerless.
But if you can get mad about it, you can feel like you have some power. Or you can blame someone. Then it feels like you COULD have some power over the situation, or they could if they’d just get it right. So do you see where holding onto anger is a defense mechanism?
Other Reasons to Avoid Letting Go
If you think you shouldn’t feel angry, you might avoid tapping on it. Or you think you’ve gotten over it – you’ve forgiven them, you’re more spiritual than that. Many times, the anger is still hiding in there. And that’s why you think the tapping isn’t working.
Resistance Tapping Phrases for Releasing Anger
These are some resistance phrases you can use to help. (Click here if you missed the video on resistance phrases.)
- (Someone)__________ is accountable and I don’t want to let them off the hook (for anger at a person).
- I’m right and they’re wrong so I’m justified in being mad.
- It’s not safe to let go of this. I need to keep anger to stay on guard so it doesn’t happen again.
- They need to change first, and then I’ll stop being mad.
- I want to make them pay for what they did. They need to suffer like I did.
- If I let go of this, something worse will happen.
- I’ve had this anger for so long, I don’t know who I’d be without it.
- It’s my protective armor. I don’t know what to do with those other feelings. I’m afraid they’ll overwhelm me, so I’ll just be mad instead.
How To Tap On This
The way to work with this resistance to releasing anger is this:
- You have a real conflict going on inside you. One part wants to let the anger go and another part is saying No Way! Tap in resistance phrases right at the beginning of your tapping. Use some of those phrases above.
- Reassure yourself with positive tapping that you have other resources than anger to deal with your feelings.
- Tap that you’re willing to see the feelings underneath without being overwhelmed by them – that you can release anger without suffering or paying a price for it.
- Argue both sides of your inner battle. It’s trying to keep one side quiet that slows everything down – especially if you think you shouldn’t be feeling like that. So give voice to both sides. Argue out loud as you tap!
- Now tap on the meat of the issue — whatever you’re feeling anger about.
Go for it! Releasing anger and what hides underneath gives you so much freedom — freedom of spirit, freedom from heaviness, freedom from tension and all the health challenges that come from it. Try these tools and leave a comment below to let us know how it goes for you.
And if I can help you speed up the process, I would be honored. Just contact me and we’ll get you moving.