Releasing anger can be tricky business – even with the help of EFT. Sometimes the process of letting go of resentment and frustration can get bogged down while you’re tapping. Resistance shows up and you’ve got one more thing to be irritated about. Talk about frustration!
What’s Going On?
Resistance arises out of self-defense. When you’re tapping, there’s some part of you that thinks it’s not a good idea to release the anger. Be clear that this is a subconscious part of you. On a conscious level, of course you want to release the anger or you wouldn’t be tapping on it, would you? But some hidden part is reluctant to let go.
Why Does This Happen?
If you’re tempted to blame yourself for hanging onto anger, do your best to just let that go. That self-blame only adds fuel to the fire. It’s important to remember that you’re always doing the best you can, given your experience and circumstances.
And your experience is the key to the “why” of it all. You have some good reason for holding onto that anger, according to some part of you. Granted, it might not be a logical part of you. But that’s OK.
Now What Should I Do?
Consider these options for dealing with your resistance to releasing anger:
- Explore the “why” with a practitioner or on your own. Then use EFT on the root cause of the resistance;
- Acknowledge your resistance when it shows up with anger issues. Stop tapping on the anger, and focus your EFT on the resistance; OR
- Expect resistance when tapping on anger and deal with it right up front. (This one’s my favorite.)
Whichever method you choose, clear the resistance and then go back and tap away the anger issue.
Common Reasons for Resistance with Anger
Here is a list of beliefs that often show up with anger issues. They are totally tappable — that is, you can use EFT to clear them. See if any of these reasons to hold onto resentment or frustration sounds familiar:
- (Someone)__________ is accountable and I don’t want to let them off the hook.
- I’m right and they’re wrong so I’m justified in being mad.
- It’s not safe to let go of this. I need to keep my anger to stay on guard so it doesn’t happen again.
- They need to change first, and then I’ll stop being mad.
- I want to make them pay for what they did. They need to suffer like I did.
- If I let go of this, something worse will show up.
- I’ve had this anger for so long, I don’t know who I’d be without it.
Print out this list and look at it when you’re using EFT on anger. Since resistance is subconscious, it can be hard to recognize your own reasons. So use the list to prompt yourself. Just review the list at the start of your session, and if any of these reasons ring a bell, tap on them.
What do you think? Leave your comments below – love to hear from you.