At this time of year, it’s easy to slip into remembering someone who is not around — and it’s not always a good feeling. That’s where tapping can help out.
The point of using EFT for missing somebody is not to let go of the person, but to let go of the heaviness of missing them – the sadness and sorrow that weigh your heart and spirit down.
If you’re blaming yourself or feeling guilty, those emotions anchor other emotions like sadness or sorrow so they’re hard to release. So get rid of the self-blame first.
Another part of working with this issue is that there is a bittersweet element to missing someone. And people don’t want to let go of the sweet part. So they hang onto all of it — which includes the heaviness and sorrow. It’s not an either/or situation where you either erase them from your mind or you hang on to the heartache part of missing them. There’s another option.
Or maybe you’re afraid you’ll forget the person – that they won’t enter your mind. Then there’s some guilt about even considering that possibility. So the sadness is anchored there by guilt and self-blame.
Here are some ways to tap to release the negative aspects of missing someone.
How To Tap On This
Setup (karate chop point)
- Even though I’m really missing them and it’s weighing me down, I want to love and accept myself anyway.
- Even though I really miss them and it makes me sad that they’re not here, I want to respect my feelings and who I am.
- Even though I miss the heck out of them and sometimes it really hurts, I still want to love and accept myself, because I’m doing the best I can with this – just like I always do.
Tapping – The Challenge (tap around all the points)
- I really miss them.
- There’s nobody like them. And there never will be.
- I wish it could have been different. There were things I should have done. There were things I should have said. And now it’s too late.
- I feel so sad when I think about it.
- We were so close and now they’re not here.
- I just want to curl in on myself. I miss them so much.
- It’s like heavy cloud of dark feelings.
- It’s weighing down my heart.
- It’s weighing down my spirit.
- I don’t know if I’ll ever feel different.
- I just want them to be here with me.
- And I know that can’t happen.
- It isn’t fair. I don’t know why this is happening to me.
- Maybe it’s my fault.
- When something reminds me of them, I just miss them so much.
- I’m afraid I’ll forget about them. And they’re so important to me.
- I wish they were here with me now.
- I really, really miss them.
- It makes me so sad to think of how much I miss them.
- Nobody can really know how this feels.
OK. Now you’ve moved out some of the negative junk, and of course if there’s more left, continue tapping on it. When you’re ready, move on to tapping some more positive phrases.
Setup (karate chop point)
- Even though I still have a little sorrow left in missing them, I’m starting to release it and that feels great.
- Even though a part of me is still holding onto some sorrow and pain about missing them, another part of me has let it go, and I appreciate both parts.
- Even though I’m still a little sad about missing them, I’m choosing to release the sadness and heartache. I’m choosing to focus on our good times. And I still love all parts of me.
Tapping Towards the Positive (tap around all the points)
- The disappearing sadness about them.
- The last bit of regret about them.
- I’m choosing to keep them here in my heart.
- I’m choosing to stay connected to the joy of them.
- Any last bit of sorrow -
- I’m making a conscious choice to let it heal.
- I choose freedom from pain.
- I choose to laugh when I think of them.
- I can feel my heart smiling when I remember them.
- It’s such a comfort to have them here with me.
- I allow myself to release the last of the regret.
- I can feel that old self-blame slip away.
- I choose the good stuff.
- I love remembering them and the good times we had together.
- It puts a smile on my face to think of them.
- I do miss them, but it’s in a whole new way.
- My heart feels so light when I think of them now.
- I’m so grateful for the time we had together.
- And I know our connection will always be strong.
- I love it when I think of them now.
Leave a comment and let us know how this works for you!