EFT to Keep Promises To Yourself

Keeping commitments to yourself is a huge deal because it’s the basis for trusting yourself. And sometimes you might be at the end of your list for keeping commitments. The things you’ve promised other people always come first. But this works like the oxygen mask on the airplane does: You have to take care of keeping your word to yourself first to be really effective for other people. I want to share some ideas for making it easier to keep your promises to yourself — and some tapping phrases to help.

Why It’s A Challenge

If you have a problem with this, one big reason could be because there’s no reward for it in your world. If you don’t acknowledge yourself for the promises you DO keep, where’s the incentive to make it a habit? You don’t get paid for keeping them. And unless you make a public declaration, nobody else knows about your self-promises. So they’re not going to give you recognition when you keep the promises. So it’s just between you and you. You’re in charge of paying attention and giving yourself kudos for keeping your commitments. It’s a big deal. And you need to treat it like one.

Why It Matters

Here’s why. Because you treat it like a big deal when it DOESN’T happen. Not keeping promises to yourself trashes your trust in yourself. It eats away at your confidence and makes you afraid to take new steps and commit to new things. You don’t want to be disappointed again and feel those crummy shoulda-could-wouldas again. The only way I know of to bring this into balance so you can build your trust in yourself is to make a big deal of it when you DO keep commitments to yourself. Do you see what I mean?

We’re all grown up and have these sophisticated ways of talking to ourselves about it, but really we’re just like our kids and pets – positive reinforcement gets much better results than constant scolding. With making commitments to ourselves, it’s exactly the same thing. So here’s how EFT can help with that.

How To Tap For It

Start with the focus on the challenge.
Set up:

  • Even though all I can think of is what’s left to do, I want to love and accept myself anyway.
  • Even though I know how to be a cheerleader for others, but not for myself, I want to respect myself and who I am.
  • Even though I’m hard on myself for not keeping my commitments to myself, and that’s not working very well, I want to love and accept myself for doing the best I know how.


  • all this judgment
  • this criticizing myself
  • this judgment
  • only seeing what’s missing
  • this judgment
  • these bad feelings about myself
  • all this judgment
  • this criticism
  • finding what’s wrong with me
  • all this judgment
  • I don’t keep my promises to myself.
  • I ought to be able to do that.
  • Maybe I should be tougher on myself.
  • That could whip me into shape.
  • Maybe if I’m really mean to myself, I would act right.
  • I want to do what I say I’m gonna do.
  • I never follow through.
  • That’s what it seems like.
  • When it does happen, it seems insignificant.
  • I always fall short of what I expect.

Now you’ve moved out some of the negative junk, and of course if there’s more left, continue tapping on it.

When you’re ready, move on to focus on the solution:
Set up:

  • Even though I mostly look at what’s missing, I’m willing to try something new, and I appreciate myself for that.
  • Even though it feels funny cheering for myself and I don’t have much practice, I want to treat myself better, and I want to love and accept myself.
  • Even though I still have some critical thoughts about keeping promises to myself, I’m starting to let them go, and I want to love both parts of me – the hanging on part and the letting go part.


  • It feels funny to acknowledge myself.
  • But the real truth is that I DO keep some of my promises to myself.
  • Maybe that IS a big deal.
  • I want to shift my perspective.
  • No it just feels too weird. It feels like I’m bragging.
  • Like I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
  • But it’s NOT nothing. It took a lot of work to keep that promise to myself.
  • I’m proud of keeping my word to myself.
  • I feel strong when I think of it.
  • I feel like I could do it again!
  • I allow myself to be my best cheerleader.
  • I acknowledge myself for my perseverance.
  • I give myself permission to focus on the positive.
  • I’m ready to encourage myself.
  • All the ways that I keep commitments to myself are coming into my mind.
  • The big things and the little things.
  • I DO know how to do this. I just wasn’t realizing it.
  • I want to use my wins to remind me of the possibilities.
  • I love being my own best supporter.
  • I can feel the overflow radiating out to other people. That feels great.

OK. Those are some ways you can tap to help with keeping commitments to yourself. And there’s a practice that helps so much with this that’s a short exercise to do at the end of the day. You can check it out at www.janethilts.com/appreciate. You can even download a printable guide for it there.

Let us know how this works for you — or what you do instead. Leave a comment so we can all share in your success!

And if you want some outside experienced help with this, I’d love to work with you on your challenge. Contact me for a free consult to discuss possibilities for going deeper with EFT.

  • Janet, this is great. I’m all about holding yourself accountable, and these are great exercises. Thank you! – Stacey

  • So glad to share them, Stacey. I know we share some basic beliefs about how best to support ourselves. Accountability and self-kindness make such a good team!

  • Pingback: Keeping Promises: To You – Connie's New Adventures()

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