Envy just feels awful. You feel deprived and resent the person who has what you want.
You start justifying what’s wrong with that show-off hottie, those snotty rich people, that greedy successful business, those slacker vacationers — just to make yourself feel better. But it really doesn’t work, does it?
How about getting rid of the envy itself? That DOES make you feel better!
Let’s start by digging deeper into this whole envy thing. It’s actually a form of fear of not having enough. You feel envy when somebody else has something you want and you think there’s some problem with you getting it — either you’re not going to get it or it’s going to take too long. And then your head starts playing with thoughts like: “They don’t deserve it and I do. Why don’t I have it? Why do they have it?”
It’s a reaction that can run from a mild twinge of envy to being obsessed with it and angry and contemptuous towards the other person. It can go from making ugly remarks about the person who has what you want – all the way to trying to get others to join with you in hating the person who has more money or the perfect body or the dream home or whatever it is that you want.
All this is just a feeling response to an observation. The cool thing about that is that you can choose different feelings – a different response. That’s where EFT comes in – to eliminate unwanted feelings so you’re just left with your observation that somebody has something you want.
It’s Not All Bad
That doesn’t have to be a negative feeling. Envy can be turned on its head where you notice you’re feeling a little bit of it and just back up from the feeling. Now you’re just noticing that this is something that you want — Like, “Oh, I really want to lie on a Caribbean beach!”
It’s not bad to notice that. Your noticing could turn into a goal or an objective. Or you might ask yourself if you really do want it and why you want it. That’s what we’re going to do with tapping, to put you back in a position of choice about how you emotionally respond to noticing something you want that somebody else has.
How To Tap On This
Setup (karate chop point)
- Even though I have this envy and all this stuff connected to it, I want to love and accept myself anyway.
- Even though I have this envy and I’m a little embarrassed and anxious and frustrated about it, I still want to accept myself and accept my feelings.
- Even though I have this envy that’s been with me for a long time, I want to love and accept myself anyway.
Tapping – The Challenge (tap around all the points)
- All this envy and everything connected to it.
- This feeling that I can’t help it.
- Feeling embarrassed about it.
- The ways I blame other people and circumstances.
- This painful envy.
- I just want what other people have. Is that so bad?
- I think I should be able to have it too.
- It’s not fair that they have it and I don’t.
- I’m afraid I’ll never get it.
- I deserve things. Why don’t I have them?
- Some people have all the luck.
- What did they do to deserve it?
- Aren’t I as good as they are?
- I should have it instead of them.
- All this envy – it makes me feel like a kid.
Tapping Towards the Positive (tap around all the points)
- I’m choosing to shift my perspective.
- It’s OK to notice what I want.
- That’s helping me to focus my energy.
- I’m choosing to let go of this negativity about what I want.
- I’m in charge, and that’s my decision.
- It’s nice to notice what I want. It’s natural to compare myself to other people.
- That helps me know what I want for myself.
- I’m choosing freedom from the fear of never getting it.
- I say let’s both have it. That feels really good!
- I’m looking forward to the possibility of a whole new perspective on this.
- I can use envy in a positive way.
- That’s what I’m choosing for myself.
- I don’t need to beat myself up for feeling a little envy.
- And I don’t need to get carried away with it.
- I choose to use it as a signal to say, Oh. That’s something that I want.
- Then I can focus on how to make it happen. That’s my choice!
That feels much better, doesn’t it? This is an example of how EFT can immediately change how you feel right now. But for longer, lasting effects you usually need to go deeper, tapping on the specifics for YOU in particular.
Let’s talk about how shifting envy permanently out of your world will change your relationships and perspective. And how deep, personal EFT can make that happen. CONTACT ME for a free consult to discuss your possibilities.