This is a question that comes up a lot for clients– maybe not in those exact words or with that clarity. Often not even at a conscious level. But the question is there in some form.

Not having an answer to that question might create fear, which can keep you holding onto inner junk — junk you know you want to get rid of.

Then to make things worse, there’s a common belief that can boost your fear and it’s this: If I release one thing, it will leave a hole, a void. So I can’t let go until I have something else lined up to replace it. I need to control what will rush in there to fill that hole.

Good News

The great news is that you already have what you need. Because YOU fill the void. The real essence of who you are without problems and issues. The healthy, happy you.

Beliefs that don’t serve you and unwanted feelings are like mud covering a jewel. And you are the jewel. As you clear the mud away, the jewel begins to sparkle.

What if you replace your fear with curiosity? How about asking yourself, what color is the jewel? How does it look in different kinds of light?

You really don’t have to be afraid. Sure – you may be surprised, because you may not have seen the jewel in a long time.

But you can approach it with positive expectancy and curiosity about what the essential you really looks like. It’s been there all along, no matter what has happened in your life. Really. Even if crummy stuff began when you were very young. Just because you lost sight of that naturally comfortable, happy you doesn’t mean she stopped existing. She’s just been hidden by the layers of stuff that you’re now letting go of.

A Real Life Example

My artist client Jamie described her issue as “being afraid to lose my edge if I didn’t have fear and dread to motivate me to get things done. How was I going to stay motivated?” In other words, what will fill the hole if I let this go? Don’t I need to plan something else to take its place? Another way to stay motivated?

After releasing the dread with EFT, she said, “Allowing myself to experience the ‘empty-ness’ of losing fear as a constant companion in my daily planning actions helped me to see how fully it had been part of my life, and to recognize that whatever was coming in to take its place could only be a richer and more successful way to lead my life. For me, I don’t know if there’s a word that describes what motivates me now. Clarity, lightness, focus…”.

That clarity, lightness and focus is the real, essential Jamie shining through. Now her motivation is totally sustainable and energy-producing instead of energy-draining. Because it’s coming from the real Jamie – the essence of who she is. Just like it can for you.

So whatever you’re wanting to let go of, rest assured that only good will fill the space that opens up. That’s the natural way it works. I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Once the negativity is released, good shines through. Every time. I’ll leave it to you to explain and describe the process.

I get so excited, like a kid in a candy store, because I get a little glimpse of each client’s essence and can’t wait to see who is really in there, just waiting to shine! I hope I can infect you with some of my own excitement so you realize you can trust what will fill the gap left by some junk you let go of. It’s the naturally happy, peaceful you!

Bonus Tip

If you’re tapping on your own, this fear of the void sometimes shows up towards the end of your session and can slow or stop your release. Just check to see if that’s what’s going on, do some EFT on that specific fear, and continue to let go.

How has this question shown up for you? Leave a comment below.

Being specific is a cardinal rule of effective tapping. If you’ve studied EFT, you’ve sure heard that before. So what exactly does that mean?

Choose Your Issue

The first place where it’s important to be specific is in choosing your issue to tap on. For instance, “worthiness” is a very broad topic. Tapping on that probably won’t change it much. You need to narrow it down.

Listen To The Voices

An easy place to start is to listen to your self talk about it. Chances are that the old voices in your head aren’t using the term “worthiness.” What phrases do you hear? OK – I know they’re not too pleasant, which is why some people don’t want to go there. They feel safer with more generic terms or therapy terms. Or maybe with spiritual phrases or metaphysical terms.

But those likely aren’t YOUR terms. That’s not the language your subconscious has linked to the unwanted feelings you’re seeking to change with EFT. In my experience, tapping goes much more quickly when you use your own words and phrases. So take a listen. What’s the old tape that’s playing?

No Need To Suffer

While you’re preparing to tap and investigating the details of your issue, you don’t have to hurt. In fact, you can get more useful details by keeping a little distance. Having the crummy feelings while trying to clarify your issue can create resistance to seeing what’s going on.

So just back off! Pretend you’re a reporter asking yourself questions. Or close your eyes and picture yourself literally stepping back a few steps from the issue — still close enough to see things clearly, but stepping out of the middle of it.

How Specific Language Helps

There are a couple of ways getting to your own words can help:

1. The way you conceptualize the issue gets clear. Maybe the worthiness-related words you hear in your head are “You can’t do anything right. You’ll never amount to anything.” That’s not exactly the same issue as someone else who hears, “Be grateful for what you’ve got. You’re never satisfied, are you?” Can you see how those are distinctly different? So the way you’ll tap on them will be different.
2. The second way your own words can help is that they can be roadsigns for your tapping map. They can point you to the origins of the limiting beliefs and crummy feelings associated with low self-worth. Ask yourself, “Where did I hear those words?” The answer will give you some real specifics to tap on. Now you can pinpoint a person and/or incidents connected to those words. Now you’ve got an effectively tappable issue!

Being specific in these ways can reduce your time, energy and frustration when you tap. Give them a try and let us know how it goes by posting a comment.

EFT is a great self healing tool. Your day-to-day life can be much more pleasant, tapping as you go. If you’re annoyed at traffic, improve your drive by tapping (use one hand only, please!) on “this annoying traffic” or “this road rage,” depending on how bad it really is.

Or if you wake up anxious, you can calm yourself and start off the day well by tapping on “this anxiety.” If you stub your toe, get rid of that distracting pain by tapping on “this toe pain.”

But if you want to get rid of those deeper issues that interfere with your success and happiness, working with a skilled practitioner can be much more effective. Read on to learn some reasons why this might be a good choice for you.

Painful Issues

Working on painful issues by yourself can be tricky business. You may unknowingly avoid some aspects to keep from feeling the old pain. You may have trouble staying focused. It’s remarkable what our subconscious defense system will do in trying to protect us. You might put it off — some part of you doesn’t want to face it alone. A practitioner can help with all these factors.

Chronic Issues

If you’ve carried a problem for a long time — physical or emotional — there’s probably a core issue beneath those symptoms that keep showing up. You may work for a long time on your own, trying to get to the bottom of it. A skilled EFT coach can quickly find the root of that problem and help you clear the chronic issue.

Patterns of Emotions

If you have a pattern of being anxious every day, or mad all the time in traffic, you can tap on those symptoms and get relief. But that’s a lot of repetitive work. Wouldn’t it be great to clear the cause of the pattern? Practitioners know how to ferret out what’s really at the core of those patterns and help you to release it. Then you can get freedom from the pattern — not just freedom for that episode.

HOW Practitioners Can Help

For more particulars about the ways practitioners can sometimes get better results than you can on your own, read more here.